MFA Applications Will Kill Your Soul (But Don't Let That Stop You)

PIA08533: Supernova Dust Factory in M74

SO, for months now I've been meaning to post a list of things I learned from the MFA application process. But I just didn't have the strength. Now that I'm safely far, far away from that soul-crushing process, I think I'm ready to give it a go.

Here's the knowledge-like substance I gleaned from the whole torrid affair.

1) MFA APPLICATIONS WILL KILL YOUR SOUL. But pleeeease don't let that stop you. It doesn't feel like it now, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Or insert uplifting cliche of your choice here.

I applied during the last semester of my undergrad. (I graduated December 2008.) I was trying to finish my senior thesis and get through papers & midterms & finals, and at the same time I was revamping my application list again and again, studying for the GRE, taking the GRE, ordering transcripts, writing endless SOP drafts, trying to figure out how to apply to each school (why why WHY can't this process be more streamlined/standardized?), trying to get my writing sample in order, etc. etc. etc.

That was the longest semester of my life. I'd tried to prepare over the previous summer, but by the time I actually sent in my last application, my list of schools was completely different, so all my summer work ended up being kind of irrelevant. Actually, strike that. It would've been a lot harder without the thinking head start, even if I did most of the grunt work during the semester.

Waiting sucks. Rejection sucks. Not knowing sucks. Knowing sucks. Spending 24 hours a day glued to the MFA Blog, TSE and P&W until you forget what the sun looks like sucks. Second-guessing your writing sample/SOP/application list/reasons for living sucks. The whole process really, really sucks.

In the end, it was all worth it. I got into a kickass program with the funding I couldn't live without, and I am so. freaking. grateful.

If I hadn't gotten in, I would've applied again. I was thinking Teach for America for my Plan B.

SO, anyway, I know it's awful. But you're gonna make it. Or maybe you already have. High five!

2) YOU'RE THE DECIDER. Tom Kealey's MFA Handbook is invaluable. Buy it, read it, heed its advice---up to a point. In the end, the only person who really knows which schools should be on your list is you. (Wait, actually I think that advice is in the Handbook, too.) TSE and the P&W boards can be really helpful, too. But there is no magic list. There is no MFA Monarch who can tell you exactly how to get in at your dream school.

3) THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SAFETY SCHOOL. There just isn't.

I applied to 9 schools. I got into Minnesota and waitlisted (as in, bottom-of-the-list-don't-hold-your-breath-listed) at Cornell. I got rejected outright by 7 schools, including Rutgers-Newark & UMass Boston & Florida, where the stats and the hype and my professors made me think I had some kind of a shot in hell. I also got rejected by Michigan & Syracuse & UMass Amherst & UT Austin/Michener, where the stats & the hype made me think I'd have just as much luck balling up my application and flushing it down the proverbial toilet. But I felt the same way about Minnesota, and somehow that happened for me.

I guess my point is: Apply where you actually want to go to school, where you can actually get funding, and don't worry so much about the stats & the hype. Just do your best and then sit back and see what happens.

At some point I told one of my letter-writers that I was worried because I felt like my list was too pie-in-the-sky, and that's basically what he told me. I think it's really good advice, and I'm glad I followed it. I didn't apply anywhere I wouldn't have been really happy to end up.

This application thing is so not a science. Follow your heart (and the funding!)

You can see my final rundown here: All Results Are In.

4) SCHOOLS WILL FIND YOUR BLOG. They will find it, they will read it, and wondering if it's having any effect on their decisions will drive you crazy. I was totally convinced that schools would never look for, let alone find my blog. But then I started seeing views from urls at schools I'd applied to---I knew because of StatCounter---ON or close to the days those schools sent out decisions. And then the administrative coordinator at Minnesota confirmed, when I was on my visit there, that they like to take a look at them. She did say that they do it after making decisions, so it has no effect on that, but who knows if that's true at other schools.

If you're keeping an open journal during admissions season, be somewhat careful. I really, really wasn't careful, and I tortured myself over it later. It might be a good idea not to show all your cards, just in case.

See this post: Off the Record (You're Not Out There, Are You?)

5) FIND EVERY WAY TO SAVE $$$$. This is a crazy expensive process, and in the end, it's kind of like betting. I'm chronically broke, and I hate betting (why risk not having money I already have for extra money I'm pretty sure I won't win?) So I was all over the money-saving jedi moves.

Michigan, UT Austin/Michener and UMass Amherst will waive their application fees if you send in the proper request form, along with documentation of financial need. This was a big help to me.

Cornell's site said they'd waive their fee in extraordinary circumstances, but it sounded like they were less cool with it than the other schools, and it scared me off, so I didn't ask for the waiver there. I probably should have. There are other schools out there, like Brown, that will also waive their fee, but I mostly just know about the ones where I applied. Doing the research really pays off.

If you get a GRE waiver from your undergrad school (knocks the price of the GRE in half!) a copy of that waiver will usually serve as proof of financial need. That's the easiest way. If you didn't or can't get a waiver, a letter from your financial aid office stating that you're a financial need student (very low EFC, received x percentage of need-based aid, etc.) will do the trick.

Ask the financial aid office at your school about GRE waivers, well ahead of time. As with the application fee waivers, you have to have a significant amount of documented financial need to qualify. And don't forget to always fill out that FAFSA!

Oh! And of course, the most important part: do your research about program funding! (!!!) Do see Seth Abramson's article about funding (here), do consult the MFA Handbook, and do make sure that the info you're getting is still current.

6) READ FACULTY BOOKS, AS MANY AS YOU CAN, AS EARLY AS YOU CAN. Funding (including teaching) had to be first, for me. And then came location. I'm ashamed to say I really didn't manage to start reading faculty works until after my application list was set in stone. But if I had it to do again, faculty would tie with location. After reading faculty works, I really feel like maybe I kinda sorta "get," in some tiny way, why I got in at Minnesota. That could just be in my head, and I still believe that the biggest factor was probably plain old luck, but hey. I feel a certain click, and that's a nice feeling.

That doesn't mean that just because you love somebody's work, they're going to like yours. And it doesn't mean that just because somebody likes your work, you're going to get in at their program. But even if you're strapped for time, like I was, and it comes down to just reading the faculty at the programs you've already decided to apply to, reading faculty work could really help if you're lucky enough to have to pick between 2 or more programs.

Here's the reading list I made up, for the schools I applied to: Fiction Faculty Books

7) COMMUNITY HELPS. But it also drives you crazy. But it also helps. But it also drives you crazy.

I was lucky enough to have a best friend, Sacha, who was applying to Creative Writing PhD programs at the same time I was applying to MFA programs. I think I would've gone crazy without her. If you don't have a friend applying to MFAs at the same time you are, try to find one.

That's part of what the blogs & boards are good for. It felt good to get info, to commiserate and celebrate with everyone else who was going through the crazy ups and downs of the admissions season. I feel like I've met some really awesome people and made a lot of great connections.

But sometimes it's just too much. Try to take it easy. I really, really didn't take it easy, and I think I'm just now recovering. (Ha?) Don't let the information overload/radio silence cycle eat your brain or crush your soul. See this post: Freedom from Information

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Well, I think that's about all I can think of, at least for now. I hope somebody out there finds this helpful. You can find links to all the various MFA hotspots at the linkbar up top, and some more stuff at my Minneapolis Links. My linked searches there are MN-specific, but you can always just plug in your own search term once you get there.

For more information/crazytalk/possibly useless advice, check out the labels below, or check out the searchbox in the sidebar. And feel free to comment with questions. I'll try my best to answer, when I have a chance.

And GOOD LUCK! May the MFA force be with you.

All Results Are In

Got my FINAL notification today---I accepted at Minnesota last month, so this is just for posterity's sake. I'm taking this off the sidebar, now. It feels good to be settled, signed, sealed, delivered.

Nine applications. One acceptance (golden ticket!), one confirmed waitlist, one possible waitlist/eventual rejection, and six flat-out rejections.

How it all shook out:

The Long Wait: MFA Fiction Programs

U Minnesota---Accepted!!! by phone (Letter 2/19)...
I accepted the offer of admission 3/25.

Cornell---Waitlisted 3/24, by email after I called...(I was #8 on a waitlist of 8)

Rutgers-Newark---Rejected 4/16 via website (Letter 4/22) I think I was waitlisted?*

U Florida---Rejected 3/28 by mail

Syracuse---Rejected 3/14 by mail

UMass Boston---Rejected 3/13 via website (Letter 3/23)

U Michigan---Rejected 3/2 by mail

UMass Amherst---Rejected 2/27 by mail

U Texas/Michener---Rejected 2/26 via website (Letter 3/9)

* Online status remained "no decision" long after first-round notifications
(both acceptances and rejections) went out. Finally rejected via website 4/16.

*

PS----Link to a list of literature-related blogs compiled by Rigoberto González (who, as it happens, teaches at Rutgers-Newark.) I originally found the link here, at Practicing Writing.

U Minnesota: My First, My Last, My Everything?

I'm almost positive I'll be heading to Minnesota in the fall, and I'm incredibly excited about it. I don't want to give the impression that I'm not, and I know that that's probably the impression I've been giving lately---what with all the whine, whine, whine. I feel ungrateful.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: like many others going through this process, I started out feeling like my chances of getting in anywhere at all were slim to none. I stand in awe of the mysterious combination of circumstances (what they were, I have no idea) and the huge amount of luck that led to an acceptance for me.

The only thing keeping me from going ahead and accepting my Minnesota offer right now is the fact that it's in, well, Minnesota.

I'm a little bit scared of the Midwest. The only experience I have with the region is this: When I was almost eleven years old, my family set out in a rinky-dink little used RV, leaving forever my grandparents' house in Watertown, Mass. and heading for the vague and distant "West." On our way, we passed through Kansas. All I remember about Kansas is flatness, a lack of grocery stores (we couldn't seem to find bread) and a strange profusion of car washes. I'm sure there's more to Kansas than that, but that's what I remember. Also, I'm aware that Minnesota does not = Kansas, and that they are in fact quite far apart.

What is Minnesota Nice? Is it real? Just a stereotype? It sounds kind of scary. Wikipedia says:

Minnesota nice is the stereotypical behavior of long-time Minnesota residents to provide hospitality and courtesy to others. The term is also sometimes used in a derogatory way, to connote a sort of smiling stubbornness, forced politeness, false humility or passive aggressive hostility.

Stereotypes of Minnesotans often overlap with qualities of other people from the Upper Midwest, including the perception that many are quiet and do not wish to offend others or cause a disruption, even if it's for their own benefit. Writer Garrison Keillor played with this image in a piece written for the radio program A Prairie Home Companion called "Wobegonics," the supposed language of Minnesotans which includes "no confrontational verbs or statements of strong personal preference, you know." [...] The generosity of state citizens has gained respect—the heavily-reported influenza vaccine shortage of fall 2004 did not strike the state as hard as elsewhere since many people willingly gave up injections for others.^[1]

Minnesota Nice is a 2003 28-minute documentary by Jeffrey Schwarz about the Coen brothers' movie Fargo, a movie that displays some of the stereotypical behavior.

Here's another link about the supposed phenomenon in relation to the Twin Cities.

The cold I can probably handle. I know it's the cold equivalent of the heat here in Tucson (eyeballs-frying-hot), but I much prefer being cold to being hot. You can always bundle up, but there's only so much you can do about burning flesh. I dealt with Boston blizzards, even kind of enjoyed them---felt like an adventure. I know MN is going to be much worse, but I think I'll be less miserable than some might be.

In other ways, Minneapolis sounds great, like the "Boston" of the Midwest. If you haven't noticed, I'm in love with Boston. I spent the younger days of my childhood moving around between suburbs of Boston (Watertown, Concord, Belmont, Lexington---and a strange interlude in the boondocks of Clinton.) I have many happy memories of dancing around outside the Au Bon Pan in Harvard Square, listening to the street performers and watching the crazy old men play chess.

Anyway!

Apparently Minneapolis is a big literary and publishing center, has lots of museums, bookstores and all that. People say you can get by without a car, which is VERY important to me, since I don't drive. Some pointed out that it sucks having to get groceries by bus when it's snowing and a billion degrees below zero, but I dealt with some of that in Boston and did fine with just the T.

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My overactive imagination/raging sense of curiosity is another part of my hesitation. I feel like I should wait until I've heard from everyone. That's the standard process, isn't it? I'm bad with decisions and I feel like I need to have all the information first. When I got the call, my first instinct was to say Yes, yes, I'll be there! I can come tomorrow! But I had to bite down on that urge and try to be sensible about it.

I hate to keep them waiting, though. They've been so good to me. I guess they expect it, right? They know we've all applied to multiple schools and that we're waiting to hear back from the rest. Maybe I should send them chocolates.

The funny thing is, when one of my letter writers asked me (around the time I was sending out my first applications) which school I was really pulling for, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was: Minnesota. I wasn't even sure why, but that was my natural reaction. I said, "Actually, I'm really excited about the program in Minnesota." He seemed a little bit surprised. He wanted Cornell (yeah, right) or Rutgers-Newark for me (because of their diversity focus, which I also find attractive.)

I explained how I really like that Minnesota encourages genre-blending/cross-genre experimentation. This is from their website:

The program encourages experimentation across genres, fostering the discovery of new and varied forms for a developing voice.

I also love that they have social writing programs that focus on young writers (SASE Wings) and women of color (Voices from the Gaps.) I'm so interested in programs like these, and I would love to have the chance to get involved during my MFA.

And the faculty, of course, is amazing. I've been reading their books, and I'm just so excited.

Maybe it's fate. Maybe Minnesota and I are just meant to be together. It must mean something that I felt strangely drawn to the program, and they must see something that they connect with in my writing. That's an incredibly good feeling, knowing that. What more could I possibly ask for?

Anyway, again.

I'm going to the prospectives' weekend, March 26-28. I'm in touch with a couple of other admits who are going, as well, and I can't wait to meet everyone, see the city, explore the program on the ground. Minneapolis, here I come!

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I'm spending way too much time on this blog. I have homework (writing!) to do, and I go back to work tomorrow. Did I say that my shifts start at 6 am? I need to calm it down, here. But I probably won't.

Rejected 2: The Really Crappy Sequel

I just got my UMass Amherst rejection in the mail, finally. I knew it was coming, but some crazy part of me was hoping I might be on a secret waitlist.

I have to admit that this one hurts a little, maybe a lot---even though I know I'm really lucky to have an acceptance to an incredible program at this point. I've been preparing myself for this (see below), but I'm still kind of on the verge of tears.

Part of me SO wants to be back east, and my uncle went to college in Amherst and has been talking it up ever since I told him I wanted to go to grad school. He thinks I'm going to get in everywhere, as do most of the rest of my family---funny how people just can't seem to understand the way that MFA programs make their decisions.

I keep trying to explain to them that it's not about my grades or GREs or even my SOP. Sample, sample, sample. I'm grateful that my family understands why I want to go to grad school, and that most are even supportive of me pursuing an MFA. (Crazy art school degree...I do get the "What are you going to do with that?" spiel from the extended family I'm not so close with.)

But they think that because I was successful in undergrad, I'm automatically going to get into all these programs and have my pick, with multiple funding offers served to me on a platter. When I told my mom about my first assumed rejection (now a reality), she was way more upset than I was. "I just don't understand why they don't want you!"

Oh, Mama. You don't get it.

Anyway, please forgive me for whining when I don't really have the right. Feel free to mentally slap me. Now I'm waiting for my Michigan rejection---that one won't feel nearly as bad.

I need to get over myself. Down, ego, down!

Good luck to everyone, as always, and continuing congratulations and condolences as this maddening process goes on.

*

PS---I was a little bit miffed to see that the letter came from the graduate admissions office, not the department itself. Feels like they didn't even want to waste their letterhead on me. Sigh.

Speeding Up

Holy macaroni, ask for a flood and you'll get it! Amherst and Michigan (I applied to both for fiction) notified today. Ahh well...

Iowa also notified at least one person (I didn't apply there).

The big excitement for me is that Minnesota notified more people today. I can't wait to bounce my brain off of other people's brains. Congratulations, MN folks!

Congrats to all acceptances, new and old---and hang in there, those of you who haven't heard yet. It's still crazy early in the game.

PS---Nothing in the mailbox today.

PPS---My cat threw up three times today, and not furballs. I'm kind of worried about him, and I have to admit that a part of me is also wondering if this is some kind of bad omen. Ridiculous.

No promising job leads posted on Craigslist today. Man, it's 5 pm and I haven't eaten yet. I'm going to go get in the shower, then I'm going to eat TWO packages of ramen, and some leftover chicken. And I'm going to watch The Office.

Update 11:30 pm: I think Boots is okay. (I didn't name him that, by the way. He's adopted, and I just couldn't bring myself to change his name. He's old.)

MFA Call Preparedness 101

So I made a crazy list of all the area codes from the programs I've applied to. When my first acceptance call came in, 10:30 am, I was sleeping. At first I just let it ring, but instead of leaving a message, whoever it was just called right back. So I'm thinking, Ugh, fine! I'll pick it up.

I didn't recognize the area code. Usually that means it's a telemarketer, telling me it's time to "renew" my car's factory warranty. I don't have a car---I don't even drive. So I probably sounded angry when I picked up and said hello.

When the voice on the phone said "This is #(%&^% from the University of Minnesota,"* I thought she was just going to tell me that they were missing some of my transcripts or something. When she went on to say something like "We'd be glad to have you," I almost hung up on her, I was so freaked out.

I sat up straight in bed. I was terrified. I was so worried that I was going to come across like a neanderthal on crack---I was sure that my sleepy voice couldn't be mixing well with the vast amounts of adrenaline now pumping my brain into a frenzy. I think I said "I can't believe it, I can't believe it" and "Thank you so much, thank you so much," and not much else. After saying some things I could hardly comprehend---my brain just kept replaying the part where she told me I got in---she asked if I had questions, and all I could think to say was "Um, I have to take this all in."

Thankfully, she emailed me a few days later to let me know that they'd be mailing me the official stuff. I emailed her back, asking for current student email addresses, and I think I managed to come across as a normal person.

The point being, if I'd had my list of area codes then, I might not have sputtered quite so much.

Actually, I'm sure it would have gone much the same way, but this little project kept my mind off of things for about ten minutes-ish.

Here are my area codes:

Rutgers-Newark (973)
U Florida (352)
U Minnesota (612)
U Michigan (734)
UMass Boston (617)
UMass Amherst (413)
Syracuse U (315)
UT/Michener (512)
Cornell (607)

PS---* I now know it was Julie Schumacher, and at the time I thought I heard her say Julie, but I wasn't sure. I was out of it. I'm almost finished with her story collection, An Explanation for Chaos, and I'm really loving it, especially "Dummies."

PPS---It turns out that she called right back because she couldn't understand the message on my voicemail. Stupid me, I didn't think to change it to a more professional (intelligible) message after I submitted my applications. Embarrassing! I've changed it now.

PPPS---I'm trying not to talk too much about Minnesota until all of the notifications have gone out. I posted about it early on, and I felt like a complete ass when I realized that all I had succeeded in doing was worrying my fellow applicants. I probably should have kept my mouth shut. Other people were posting, and I was so worked up and happy...But adding to people's stress was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. After all, I know exactly how it feels! The waiting, the anxiety, the hysteria.

When I realized what I'd caused, I basically tried to go incognito. I felt bad for upsetting people, and I felt like maybe the school would be mad at me for posting (some admits to other programs, like Alabama, apparently got mild talkings-to about posting.) I erased my "I'm in!" posts and decided to just quiet down and wait it out. I guess I've decided that that was a little bit silly, a little bit overboard. This process is driving me crazy.

So no more secret identities, but I'm trying not to talk about it too much until the school finishes notifying. Obviously, I'm not doing too very well at the keeping quiet thing, but I hope you'll forgive me. I figure I can celebrate about it on my own blog, at least. I'm excited. And I'm dying to talk about it with other acceptees---hurry up U of M!

My Dear S.

She got into the S. Mississippi PhD program in fiction. She found out the other day. I'm so proud of her! I know she'll have even more good news coming in soon.